„What do they do if it’s full?” – the words of Germany’s chef and restaurant tester Christian Rach came to mind as I visited “El Puerto” in the Calle Teide in Puerto del Carmen for the first time. Only two tables – including ours – had anyone at them, and yet we had to wait a whole hour for our food and another 30 minutes for the bill.
El Puerto is a restaurant that serves German food, so schnitzel and geschnetzeltes have been combined with Canarian influences. Unfortunately, when we visited, the ceiling fans were not working, and during the evening it kept getting warmer. The smell of old fat in my corner of the restaurant didn’t help my first opinion either.
It is probably therefore better to sit at one of the two tables in front of the restaurant, even though these are next to the road. Otherwise, the inside is decorated with a mixture of German, in particular Thuringian, and fish and nautical themes. The music is provided by MDR, an station in the Eastern part of Germany.
The food itself was not that bad, so if you are looking for German food on Lanzarote then this may be the place to go. But it was nothing special. I’d be particularly interested in how it can take a whole hour to cook chicken breast or schnitzel with chips?
I also have no idea how a restaurant owner who – when asked for the bill – can just say to his guests “slowly”. A glass of Ronmiel with whipped cream on top doesn’t make up for that either.
In any case, a report on our visit would not be complete without mentioning the cuckoo clock, which cuckooed at 10 minutes past every half hour.
For German food on Lanzarote, I preferred the nearby restaurant “Simposio”, which has sadly now closed.
El Puerto is closed on Sundays, as on this day they have a stall at the market in Teguise. There the food comes quicker and, in my opinion, tastes better. But more about that another day…
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